In case you were wondering what raising a boy is like

January 25, 2008

“Mom.  MOM.  MOM.”

“Yes, darlin’?”

“Dere’s bad guys.”

“Bad guys?”

“Yes.  Dere is bad guys in da house.”

“Oh no.  What’re you gonna do?  Are you gonna call Spiderman?”

“No.  Me will SHOOT dem.  Wif my big GUN.”

“Oh, okay.  Just don’t get any blood on the carpet.”

“Okay.  Me won’t.”

(Plastic, toy shotgun with “real” sounds:  Bang!  Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!  Bang!  Bang!)

“Me SHOT dem!”

“You did?”

“Yes.  Me shot dem wif my GUN!”  (Pause, then…)  “Oh no!  Is ANUDDER bad guy!”

Bang!  Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!

“Me got him.”