It’s dark here, just now…

…so dark, sometimes, that I cannot imagine there ever was a light. I cannot feel its warmth, cannot see even the faintest glow, cannot close my eyes and see the shadow of what is before me.

And yet…

…sometimes I look at my son, breathe in his scent, listen to his sweet voice, his new words…sometimes I watch my daughters in awe, marvelling at how they are transforming from little girls to young ladies, before my very eyes, holding on to them…SO tightly, now, not wanting to let go of the little girls, but also so proud they are becoming such remarkable people, such individuals, and then…

…and then the light. So bright, so warm…surrounding me, embracing me, giving me strength to JUST. HOLD. ON.

And so I am. Holding on.


8 Responses to It’s dark here, just now…

  1. amy says:

    Sometimes just holding on is enough to get you to the next branch, LB. You hang in there, my love.

  2. Nils says:

    When I was a kid, I used to sit in the darkness and concentrate really hard on exactly where everything in the room was before I turned the lights out. My Tonka trucks scattered around, sharp-edged toy soldiers just waiting to dig into a bare foot, the chair pulled back from my desk with the clothes strewn over it.

    When I knew I had it clear in my head, I would walk slowly but certainly across the floor, reach out, and nine times out of ten my hand would unerringly find the switch.

    I wouldn’t turn it on – I didn’t need to. It was enough to know that the switch was there. And that I had the resources within me to escape the darkness.

    That trick still works for me. It makes the darkness a little less scary when you know that – all around you – there are sources of light you can easily reach.

  3. cat says:

    I’m holding my breath… I don’t know why…

  4. CircusKelli says:

    Sweetie… I’ve been there. Hold on tight, you know the light is out there, waiting for you, looking for you. If it seems like it’s been too dark for too long, call out to someone so they can find you and sit with you until the light arrives.

  5. Squirl says:

    There are lights for you everywhere, please keep looking always. Your children are probably your brightest beacons. Hang in there. Hugs!!

  6. Annejelynn says:

    there’s always help when we ask for it – – you’re loved and your family adores you, no doubt. Let them be there for you even more so… drown yourself in the cuteness around you (hee hee)

  7. psumommy says:

    Many, many hugs, ladybug. The light will come.

  8. mrtl says:

    big hugs for the bug

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