Dear Complaint Department:
So…yeah…umm…about today… It…umm…totally did NOT work for me. In fact, it really, really sucked. I hereby request a do-over. With…umm…a stand-in Mom? A stunt double? Maybe? Because, geez, I am abso-fucking-lutely exhausted.
Dear Guy In the White Truck Who Ran the Fucking Stop Sign and Almost Ran Me Over:
I was not waving at you. I was trying my damndest not to flip you off.
You suck. I mean, you really fucking suck. You suck so much that you’ve actually got me using the F-word. Me! The freaking F-Word! I cannot fucking wait until October shows up to kick your sorry ass to the curb.
Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out,