August 30, 2006

*Points toes inward, raises dress over head, runs off stage*


Men Stroo AY Shun

August 23, 2006

*singing* Happy days are here again… 

Seriously, you’ve never seen a woman so excited about ruining a perfectly good pair of shorts.

To match the ridiculous grin on my face, I think I’ll wear a giant happy-face button that says, “Ask me about my period.”

A post about not posting

August 20, 2006

If I had the time and energy to blog everything I’ve wanted to share with you…

 …I’d write a humorous (or humourous, for you Canadian folk), yet poignant essay about taking the The Drama Queen and Miss Attitude school-clothes shopping a couple weeks ago.  I’d tell you what a great day we had, just the three of us girls shopping together; I’d tell you how much fun it was to go shopping with them, now that they’re getting old enough to really enjoy clothes-shopping; and I’d tell you how I alternated between grinning absurdly and tearing up, so full was my heart.

…I’d post more about going off my antidepressants.  I’d share with you how horribly, horribly tough it was that first weekend; how I was curled in a ball on the couch, crying uncontrollably; how, long after the crying jags were over, I felt frequent “zaps” – like sudden electrical surges – going through my body several times an hour, making my face, hands and arms tingly and thoroughly freaking me out.

…I’d tell you that the worst of the withdrawal seems to be behind me, and that I’ve started to see glimpses of someone from my past, someone I haven’t seen in a very long while…ME.  And wow, hi, how are you, it’s really good to see Me again.

…I’d write about my current state, that of perpetual nervous wreck, because despite happily failing a home pregnancy test, I STILL haven’t started my period.  I had my tubes tied after Big Boy was born, so I really shouldn’t worry; but my last period was June 12th, fer cryin’ out loud.  Enough already with the worrying and waiting.

…I’d tell you about Big Boy’s evaluation with the speech therapists, who assessed his current speech development at 18 months (he’s 26 months old), and how, rather than being worried or stressed out about the prospect of the speech therapy and the work we have ahead of us, I’m actually relieved that we’re doing something about his speech delay, and I’m eager to get his therapy started.

…I’d wow you with a post about my awesome husband, and how HE planned a day for the two of us to celebrate our anniversary and my birthday, how HE made arrangements for his parents to keep the kids yesterday so he and I could go to [larger town an hour away where we go for doctor appointments and shopping] for dinner and a movie, how the whole thing was HIS idea, and how HE actually started planning it over a month ago.

…I’d tell you how much fun Deputy Dad and I had yesterday, giggling like prepubescent boys at the crude humor (humour) of Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby; how we held hands as we walked through the mall together; how we stuffed ourselves unmercifully at the Outback and groped each other inappropriately on the drive home.

…I’d write another humorous (humourous) essay about treating myself to a bra fitting for my birthday yesterday, and how the sweet little sales girl who offered to measure me had NO CLUE, really, what she was doing, but turned out to be quite helpful anyway.  And of course I’d tell you how my girls are now traveling in style, resting in heavenly Microsateen, wire-free bliss.

So much to tell you…so little time for posting.  And now, I’m off again, to break up a squabble between Kid #1 and Kid #2 and to placate Kid #3, who is terribly cranky and fussy today after staying up waaay too late last night and then refusing to sleep in this morning.  Hugs, y’all!

Thirteen years ago today…

August 17, 2006

…I was lucky enough to marry the Love of My Life.


We were so young…he was twenty; I was two days shy of nineteen.


I didn’t think it possible to love him anymore than I did on that day, in that moment, when we held hands and pledged our love, our lives to each other.

And yet, every day our love grows.


Every trial and tribulation brings us closer together and strengthens our bond.


Today, my heart is so full of love for that wonderful man…I think, surely it’s not possible to love anyone more than I love him today.

And yet, I know, tomorrow I will love him even more.


He is my best friend, my lover, my partner, my confidante, my counselor.


He is the father of my three beautiful children.  I see him in their faces.  I see his love for them in his.


I am so proud – so honored – to be the wife of such a remarkable man.


I love you, Deputy Dad.  Happy 13th Anniversary, Baby.


Pillow Talk

August 15, 2006

Conversation taking place throughout Small Town today…

Baby, say those three little words that mean so much to me.

(whispering) School starts today.

Yes.  Say it again.


Yes, baby.  Say it again.

School.   Starts.   Today.

Yes.  Yes.  YES!

This just in…

August 12, 2006

I have never in my life been so happy to fail a test.

*insert enormous sigh of relief here*

Cryptic *Updated*

August 10, 2006

I feel like a defective typewriter.

Updated to answer your questions:

1. No, that’s not what I’m saying.

2. Yes, I am saying that other thing.

3. No, I haven’t done that yet.  I’m giving it a few more days.

4. Because I had my tubes tied after Big Boy was born, that’s why.

5. Holy shit, I hope not.  I don’t think I could handle it.