And The Lord Spaketh Unto Eve… *UPDATED*

…”Lo, thou shalt craveth the nectar of the cocoa bean, and thou shalt have searing pain – OH, the pain – in thy womb, and thou shalt bleed from thine unholy orifice, and thy face shall be covered in blemishes so the WORLD may know that thou hast partaken of the apple, AND I DONE TOL’ YOU NOT TO, BEYOTCH!”

Updated to add kalki‘s contribution, copied and pasted from her comment:

“And then the devil didst overtake Eve, didst possess her, so that she spake harshly to Adam in her time of pain and suffering. And Adam didst respond sternly to Eve, reminding her that GOD had commanded her to respect and obey her husband. And then Eve didst reach behind Adam’s leaf and twist his balls until Adam fell to the ground and repented at her feet.”

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