[Insert random stream of cuss words here]

We can not afford this.

We can NOT afford this.

How is an antidepressant supposed to make a depressed person…antidepressed, when it costs so damn much?!?

Money – well, LACK of money – is my number one source of stress. And now I have MORE stress.

We can not afford this.

I felt so much better this morning.

I felt better after I talked to the doctor today.

Then I went to get the damn prescription filled.

Ninety-seven dollars and seventy-eight cents. For one month’s worth of meds.

WHUMP! went my heart, sinking to my feet. I started sweating and shaking. I felt sick. I felt like crying.

Yes, I know, that’s not a lot of money to some people. But when you have three kids, you work part-time, and your husband is an underpaid law enforcement officer; when your budget is already stretched to its limit…it’s a hell of a lot.

And I’m supposed to get counseling, too?!?

We can not afford this.

How is this supposed to help? The whole point of this “getting better” stuff was so I wouldn’t do something that would have a negative effect on my family.

Well, not eating, that’s pretty negative.

Yes, I know, we’ll eat, blahblahblah. We’ll find a way, he said. But at what expense? Who else in this family will have to suffer because Mom’s screwed up?

I can’t type anymore. I’m shaking. I’m crying. I just needed to get on the computer and (virtually) scream for a minute, because I am SCREAMING inside.

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