Deputy Dad mentioned the other night that one of his Law Enforcement Officer friends, “E”, (let’s call him LEO E, shall we?) had asked him if he had a strobe light. Deputy Dad thought LEO E was inquiring whether he had a strobe light on his patrol vehicle, so he responded, “Yeah, I’ve got one on my pickup.”
LEO E: No, no, no…I mean, do you have a portable strobe light, one that you can take into the house and plug in?
Deputy Dad: No. Why?
LEO E: Well, I shoplifted some love* the other night, and [the wife] never moved the whole time. I need a strobe light, so it’ll at least look like she’s moving. I asked [Law Enforcement Officer “B”] if he had one; he didn’t, but he offered to stand in the corner with two flashlights and turn them on and off real fast.
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*Yeah, I know. Shoplifted some love. That’s what he said. Sounds a lot like he was stealing it, getting it on the sly, doesn’t it? Which may explain why the wife didn’t move.
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Update: I feel the need to explain that LEO E was joking when he asked Deputy Dad for the strobe light. These guys are all good buddies, and spend a lot of time (read: way too much time) talking about sex, as boys are wont to do when their wives are not around, and discussing who’s gettin’ some and who’s not, etc. They’re also prone to gross exaggeration. According to most of the guys, they NEVER get any. Since I am a lady, I won’t tell you that all the guys stay mad at Deputy Dad ’cause he gets it more than anyone. Oh, wait. I just did. *blush*