Mother of the Year Award (Alternate Title: Teaching Our Son About Gravity…The Hard Way)

When I called Deputy Dad at work Saturday night to tell him Baby Boy had pulled up to sitting in his crib, the first thing I said after I relayed the exciting news was, “Now, we have GOT to move that crib mattress down to the lower level, so we don’t have to worry about him falling out.”

[That? That right there? Is called foreshadowing.]

We were so busy Sunday with Easter activities that the most we had time to do was mention to each other in passing, “We really need to move that crib mattress down.”

I had thought yesterday afternoon would be a good time to move it, after the kids and I got home after school, and before Deputy Dad left for work; but the kids and I were running late, and Deputy Dad was gone before we got there. So when he came home for supper, and we were running around like madmen trying to get all the kids fed, bathed, and ready for bed, I mentioned once again that we really, seriously need to move that crib mattress.

[Cue ominous music here.]

[You’re getting ahead of me, aren’t you?]

When Baby Boy started crying about 5:45 this morning (his usual time to wake up and fuss), Deputy Dad went in to check on him and found him ON THE FLOOR NOT IN THE CRIB WHERE HE SHOULD BE BUT ON THE FLOOR OH MY GOD. He had, apparently, not just pulled himself to sitting, but to STANDING, and launched himself over the crib rail.

He was fine, miraculously uninjured (Thank you GOD), and stopped crying as soon as I took him from Deputy Dad. (Loves his Ma-ma, that boy does.) I kept waiting for Child Protective Services to come beating down the front door to take him away, but they never showed.

So. Note to self: The old adage about procrastination (Never put off until tomorrow blah blah blah) really does hold water. And we are so damned lucky (read: blessed) Baby Boy is okay.

Also. Note to Baby Boy: In the future, let’s try to achieve those baby milestones without the death-defying stunts, shall we?

[Oh, and yes. Deputy Dad promised to move the crib mattress down as soon as he returned home from taking the girls to school and Baby Boy to the sitter this morning. It’s really a two-person job, which was why we were trying to coordinate our schedules and work on it together; but he decided he’ll just go ahead and get it done today, with or without an assistant, thankyouverymuch.]


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