It’s bad enough, people, that my every waking moment is fraught with stress and worry, and that I get precious little sleep these days. But now….NOW even my DREAMS are leaving me anxious and exhausted.
Last night I dreamt I was caring for THREE babies at the same time, two of which were newborn twins. The third baby was only a few months old. I laid the girl twin on a throw pillow that was on the floor at my feet (she must’ve been very tiny, or the pillow very large); she was asleep and curled into a little ball. The boy twin and the older baby, meanwhile, were both fussing, and I had one in each arm, rocking them both and trying to soothe them. Every few minutes the girl twin would stir, and I’d lean over (babies still in my arms) and pat her to soothe her back to sleep. I felt so frustrated and completely overwhelmed.
(I should mention that I had this dream when I dozed off while I was rocking Baby Boy about 4:00 this morning. He woke up coughing and crying about 3:30, and I didn’t get back to bed until 5:00. So the rocking-the-baby part of the dream totally makes sense.)
The worst part of the dream was…Deputy Dad was asleep THE ENTIRE TIME I was trying to juggle the three babies. I was so upset that he wasn’t helping me. It was all I could do not to be mad at him this morning.