In light of the impending holiday, a, um, slight variation on the Twelve Days of Christmas:
12 – Times this evening I’ve had the urge to scream and throw something.
11 – Times I’ve successfully resisted that urge.
10 – Total copies of the annual family video compilation I need to dub and mail.
9 – Copies left to go.
8 – Consecutive hours of sleep I need.
7 – Rolls of cookie dough consumed for medicinal purposes.
6 – Months of breastfeeding remaining, before I can begin to properly drown my sorrows.
5 – Consecutive hours of sleep I might get tonight, if the stars align in my favor and heaven smiles upon me.
4 – Days until Christmas, OH. MY. GOD.
3 – Stockings hung by the TV with care. (We have a fireplace, but no mantle. That’s another story.)
2 – Daughters out of school, and thus spending their days bickering and yelling and making life a living hell for everyone around them, especially their mother, who is on the verge of a nervous breakdown anyway.
1 – Melancholy mommy.
God help us, it’s almost Christmas.