I went to Wal-Mart on my lunch break today. In the rain. And I was driving Deputy Dad’s truck because my car is in the shop. Which means my umbrella is in the shop, too. So I go to Wal-Mart, in the rain, for four small items that I totally could’ve waited until tomorrow for. But I would not, could not wait until tomorrow because (Warning: The following revelation may lower your opinion of me, not that I care one iota.) I am a Wal-Mart junkie. Seriously. I can’t go more than two or three days without my ‘fix.’ I don’t even mind dragging all three kids there, if that’s what it takes to get my hit. (Hit? Is that right? I don’t really know proper drug lingo.)
Anyhow, I went to Wal-Mart at lunch. And….you know that thing ‘they’ say about not shopping on an empty stomach? So. Completely. True. I went in for these four items, only one of which was food-related; yet I spent the majority of my time walking up and down the food aisles, eyes glazed over, randomly plucking things off the shelves and putting them in my cart. Oh, hey, that looks good. Little Debbie snack cakes?!? Geez, I haven’t had those in forever! I should get TWO boxes! Oh, and I’m sure we need this and that and…..holy crap, I was unstoppable. Pathetic. By the time I went to check out, even the tabloids looked good! Why yes, I DO want to see “The Pictures Celebrities don’t Want You to See!” And of COURSE I want to know how poor little Mary-Kate Olsen is doing! And the longer I stood in line, the more the magazine racks taunted me….why, I didn’t even KNOW there was a Country magazine, but now I MUST see that photo layout of Kenny Chesney. I drew the line, though, at Martha Stewart Living. I knew there was no way I could stomach Martha AND all the junk food I’d tossed in my cart.
If that wasn’t bad enough, I stopped at Sonic on my way back to work, to pick up some chili, cheese and grease for lunch! WHAT was I thinking? I don’t even like those things! I’ll probably be sick all afternoon. I should’ve just had the Little Debbies for lunch.