In case you were wondering what raising a boy is like

January 25, 2008

“Mom.  MOM.  MOM.”

“Yes, darlin’?”

“Dere’s bad guys.”

“Bad guys?”

“Yes.  Dere is bad guys in da house.”

“Oh no.  What’re you gonna do?  Are you gonna call Spiderman?”

“No.  Me will SHOOT dem.  Wif my big GUN.”

“Oh, okay.  Just don’t get any blood on the carpet.”

“Okay.  Me won’t.”

(Plastic, toy shotgun with “real” sounds:  Bang!  Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!  Bang!  Bang!)

“Me SHOT dem!”

“You did?”

“Yes.  Me shot dem wif my GUN!”  (Pause, then…)  “Oh no!  Is ANUDDER bad guy!”

Bang!  Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!

“Me got him.”


Merry Christmas, Y’all

December 19, 2007

Just wanted to stop in real quick and wish everyone a very happy and safe holiday season.

I’m still around, just busy with Real Life stuff.  Maybe I’ll blog about it some time.

In the meantime, call the kids to the computer, turn up your speakers, and click here:


May your days, indeed, be merry and bright, and may you find yourself surrounded by those you love this holiday season.

God bless,

Deputy Dad returns this evening from a week out of town…

October 5, 2007

Legs freshly shaved?  Check.

Hair blow-dried and curled (i.e. no ponytail)?  Check, and check.

Makeup on?  Check.

Contacts in (glasses sometimes get in the way in certain…provocative situations)?  Check.

T!ts hoisted heavenward and looking spectacular?  Check, and CHECK.

If you haven’t seen this yet…

August 27, 2007

Here’s your chance:

“I laughed.  I cried.  It moved me.” — LadyBug

Her Mother’s Daughter

May 29, 2007

Drama Queen, mischievously:  Mom, you know what makes you such a great mom?

LadyBug, warily:  What’s that?

DQ, grinning:  A kid like me.

LB, giggling:  You know what makes you full of baloney?

DQ, checkmating:  A mom like you.

The Good, the Bad, and the Stuffy

May 2, 2007

The Good:

Miss Attitude’s neurologist appointment was yesterday.  Without going into a lot of long, drawn-out detail, I’ll just make a long story short and tell you it was good news, all around.  Since the MRIs and VEP came back normal, he really didn’t think we had anything to worry about; the abnormal “protein band” in her spinal fluid, in and of itself, was not a clear indicator of MS…was, in fact, “really nothing to worry about.”  (*insert huge sigh of relief here*)  He also doesn’t think Miss Attitude has papilledema (optic nerve swelling); he thinks it may be pseudopapilledema, in which it just appears swollen, but actually isn’t.  He’s sending her to a pediatric ophthamologist, who will – I assume – confirm or refute the neurologist’s finding.  The headaches, he says, sound like childhood migraines, and for now we’ll just treat them with Tylenol and Motrin unless/until she needs something stronger.

The Bad:

As if all the headache/MRI/optic nerve/spinal tap/neurology crap wasn’t enough, Miss Attitude is currently recovering from yet another round of pneumonia, her third? or fourth, maybe? episode of pneumonia in the last several months.  Her pediatrician has spoken with her pulmonologist, who wants to do another bronchoscopy to try to find out why the poor kid keeps getting pneumonia.  She’ll have that on June 13th, this time under general anesthesia.  (Her last bronchoscopy – two years ago – was done under conscious sedation.)

The Stuffy:

I’ve been fighting what I’m pretty sure is a sinus infection.  It started as a cold – or allergies, or a combination thereof – about three weeks ago, and has steadily continued NOT to improve.  I have neither medical insurance nor the money for a doctor visit or prescriptions, especially in the wake of all of Miss Attitude’s recent doctor visits and prescriptions, so I’ve just waited and waited for things to get better…for my head to stop throbbing and my nose to stop dripping and my sinuses to stop draining and my throat to stop hurting and my cough to stop…erm…coughing; but, alas, my body seems to have chosen not to heal itself, and I finally gave in to Deputy Dad’s demands and let him call his doctor to make me an appointment.  He called to let me know they had scheduled me for 4:00…NEXT Tuesday.  My response?  “Hell, just forget it…I’ll either be better or dead by then!”  Geez.

Recent conversation at the LadyBug house

April 19, 2007

*Caution: American Idol results show SPOILER below!*

[American Idol‘s Wednesday night results show ends.]

LadyBug: Okay, girls, get your medicine and go potty; it’s time for bed!

[The Drama Queen and Miss Attitude leave the room.]

Deputy Dad: Whew.  That’s a relief.

LadyBug: What’s a relief?

Deputy Dad: Sanjaya got kicked off American Idol, and it’s time for [the kids] to go to bed.

LadyBug: So, which one are you more relieved about?


Deputy Dad: Well, right now, I think it’s a tie.