Heddo.

I was all sed do wride ub a nice, long pode; bud dow I’b all duffy and I cad barely breed drough my dose.

I’ll updade lader, whed air passes a bid more freely drough my nodtrils.

 Id de meadtibe, you cad look ad dis:

I think I can, I think I can…

NaBloPoMo, Day 27.  Three more days to go!

In lieu of anything remotely interesting, here’s a sampling of search terms which have brought unsuspecting visitors to this site recently.  I’ve linked to the posts the searches found.

is should’ve a word?
Why, yes.  It certainly is.

meaning “a little pregnant”
You’ll find no answers here.  May I suggest an EPT?

Bury Your Dead Arm warmers
I have no freaking idea what that means, but I’m sure this page wasn’t any help at all.

danushka
Oh, good grief.  The woman was on The Bachelor 3 1/2 years ago.  Get over it already.  (Although…that entry is one of my favorites.  I hope you enjoyed it, whoever you are.)

would of would’ve grammar mistake
I am absolutely thrilled so many folks are finding Granny Grammar so helpful.

sparkly ladybug nose rings
So…you’re looking for a sparkly nose ring in the shape of a ladybug…or…a sparkly nose ring FOR your pet ladybug?

“you know your life is incredibly lame”
Well, yes, I’m afraid it is.

should’ve is not a word
It most certainly is, too; however, “should of” is an abomination.  Now, go forth and spread the word.

Well, CRAP

So, hey, yeah, guess what? I was looking at my calendar in the sidebar over there and realized that it wasn’t showing a post on November 5th. WHAT? I’ve posted every day this month! I’m doing freakin’ NaBloPoMo, fer cryin’ out loud!

As it turns out, I had my time stamp set wrong, and the entry I posted Sunday night just before midnight had Monday’s date on it, because it posted an hour ahead. Geez.

So I’ve gone back and adjusted the time stamps for all the November posts, turning them each back an hour. Which means I look like a big ol’ Cheater Pants now, when I’m actually just a total and complete idiot when it comes to anything involving Greenwich Mountain Time and adjusting for my time zone.

Sigh.

In other news, a cold virus has decided to attach itself to my person. I was trying -TRYING - to blame allergies for my symptoms…runny nose, sneezing, stuffiness - must be allergies! Yes, Just Allergies! And NOT a cold coming on! Because Holy Shit I Do NOT Have TIME For A Cold!

And then came the sore throat. And the achiness. And the generally feeling like total and complete crap.

So, yeah, not so much allergies as a FREAKING COLD. Blargh.

Pending FDA Approval

If I could only bottle Super Boy’s* giggle…it would be the most powerful anti-depressant known to man.

~

*Due to his recent obsession with Superman, Spiderman, The Incredibles, and any other super-hero type characters, The Toddler Formerly Known as Big Boy shall now be known as Super Boy.

Settling in nicely…

I finally (just an hour or two ago) finished moving everything from the old blog to the new one.  If I’d known what a long-drawn-out process it would be, I might never have started; but hey, it’s done, and I’m glad.  That’s two years of my life documented, for better or worse.  I’d hate to lose it.

Just a reminder to everyone: I’ll be deleting the old blog in a month or so.  Please go ahead and change your blogrolls and bookmarks to reflect my shiny new URL:

http://imperfectsymmetry.wordpress.com/

Once you’ve swum halfway across the ocean, it’s really too late to turn back

If I’d had any idea what a painfully tedious process it would be to copy and paste all my old blog entries to the new blog, I might never have begun.  I’m damn near cross-eyed from staring at the monitor so much this weekend.  But!  I’m over halfway there now, and hope to finish within the next day or two.

A few things worth mentioning:

• I’ve un-linked any previous posts linked within a post…Going back and forth, getting new URLs, etc. would just be TOO much, especially since I’m working my way backward through the old entries, which means that an entry linked in a post I’m copying hasn’t yet been moved and therefore doesn’t yet have a new URL.  And who wants to try to keep track of every entry I’d need to go back to and re-link?  Not me, that’s who.
• I just re-read that last part and, I’m not even sure it makes sense.  But I’m too tired to try to re-do it, so let’s just move along, shall we?
• I’m glad I decided to move all the old entries over to WordPress, because I really want to delete the old blog and sever my ties with Tripod.  The only negative is that I’ll be losing all the comments from the past two years.  Which totally sucks.

• The entries with photos have turned out to be a nightmare to move.  WordPress and Tripod do NOT get along.  I’ve finally gotten a relatively painless system figured out, but I haven’t yet figured out how to put a full-size image in a WordPress entry (or even IF that’s possible).  So far, all I can get are thumbnails which link to a full-size image.  So you guys should know that any time you see a thumbnail…

…you can click on it to see a full-size image.

• I’m consolidating all the “about me” entries into one page, which you can access by clicking on “140 Things About Me” in the top, right-hand corner of the home page.

Alrighty, I’m off to copy/paste/edit my little fingers off.  Hope everyone is having a terrific Labor Day Weekend!

 

Thank you…uhthankyouverymuch

Thanks for the warm welcome wishes, everyone!  You guys are awesome.  I may not post much in the next few days.  I’ll be focused on painstakingly moving almost 2 years’ worth of blog entries from the old place to the new.

I’ve also switched email addresses.  If I had your address in my hotmail contacts, you should have gotten a notification of my new address yesterday.  If you didn’t receive that and you want the new address, please leave me a comment and I’ll email it to you.  I’ll be canceling the hotmail account in a month or so.

Okay, that’s all I’ve got this morning…well, that and a raging, pounding headache.  But hey, at least it’s Friday AND we’re on the cusp of a three-day weekend.  Woohoo!  (That Woohoo was just for you, CircusKelli.)  (Hey, wow, I just opened CK’s blog to get the URL, and she’s got a fresh, new look.  So pretty!  Check it out!)

Have a terrific Friday, everyone, and a wonderful three-day weekend!

A list disguised as an update masquerading as a post

~ New look here at the LadyBug blog.  Whaddya think?  (You should see a pale yellow background, black font, and an old-fashioned typewriter header.)

~ I’ve also added a button that links to my eBay store.  At the moment, it’s mostly clothes the girls have outgrown, but I’ll be adding other stuff soon, including my fresh-out-of-storage collection of Coca-Cola® memorabilia.

~ I actually responded to comments on the last entry.  I’d like to get back into the habit of doing that, as I miss the back-and-forth exchanges there.

~ Big Boy will be starting Speech Therapy soon.  We took him for a speech evaluation on the 20th, and the Speech Therapist said he “definitely qualifies for some Speech Therapy.”  She said a toddler his age should have a vocabulary of around 50 words (he has less than 20) and should be using two-word phrases on a regular basis (he has only one two-word phrase: “my did!”).  So he definitely has a speech delay, just as we suspected.  (His comprehension is fantastic.  He can understand us and follow simple directions with no problems.  He just won’t TALK.)  Rather than being worried at this diagnosis, I’m actually relieved that he’ll get the intervention he needs to help his speech develop.  I’m ready to hear my Little Man talk.

~ I’m going off the anti-depressants.  It’s been almost a year since I started the meds.  I’ve been on them so long now, I don’t know where the meds end and I begin.  I’m ready to get back to “baseline,” to see what “me” feels like again.  I started a 10-day weaning dose Thursday before last, and I took my last pill Saturday.  So, of course, I’ve been lightheaded, dizzy and woozy since about 6:00 yesterday evening.  I don’t know exactly how long it takes for the meds to completely leave my system, and my body to re-stabilize; but I hope things get back to normal soon.  Feeling freaky and faint may be some folks’ idea of a good time, but I kind of like being able to stand up without feeling like I’ll pass out.

Got no feel, I got no rhythm/I just keep losin’ my beat

Whew, what a rough evening. I almost totally and completely lost it. I almost collapsed into a fit of tears. At least twice. But I didn’t…much.

It was just one of those evenings….Deputy Dad’s working, the girls wouldn’t mind/wouldn’t stop fighting/wouldn’t behave, Big Boy was tired and cranky (and so, might I add, was I). The joyride that was our evening reached its pinnacle when, as I was simultaneously herding a nudie-tootie Big Boy to the bathtub and yelling at the girls to “STOP PLAYING AND CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM,” Big Boy somehow managed to make two HUGE puddles of piddle, just centimeters apart, ON THE CARPET, with one wave of his wee willie winkie. And boy oh boy, Mom, is that just the funniest thing you’ve ever seen or what? Good grief, he was giddy and giggly, he was so damned proud of himself. Ah yes, MEN. (*insert dramatic rolling of the eyes here*)

Oh, and did I mention that we ate supper out tonight, and in very close proximity to a child molester? Yeah, so THAT was fun. Especially the part where I pulled the girls close to my face and did the Don’t look right now, but…no, don’t stare, just look over there in a minute…no, not now, okay, stop staring thing with them, explaining to them that if they ever saw that man anywhere, they were to turn the other way, and never allow themselves to be anywhere near him or (for the love of all that is holy) alone with him. And, can I just say? It pisses me right the frick off that I had to do that. I mean, hot-stinging-tears-of-rage pissed. It’s so freakin’ unfair that the world is in such a state that I have to say things like, “He touches kids in places they’re not supposed to be touched” to my little girls. (They asked why they needed to stay away from him, and weren’t satisfied with my “He does bad stuff to kids” answer. How else do you quickly and discreetly (we were in a restaurant, remember?) answer the question, “What kind of bad stuff?”)

Anyway. I think I came home already upset and ticked off after that little incident, and things kind of went downhill from there. Ordinarily, on a Friday night, bathtimes and bedtimes are all but disregarded, since all the other nights are so tightly scheduled and inflexible. But we have to get up early tomorrow and drive an hour to the pediatrician’s office to get all the kids’ flu shots (oh JOY! *insert another dramatic rolling of the eyes here*). Yeah, remember that appointment I’d forgotten? Well, tomorrow we pay the fiddler in the form of not getting to sleep in on the ONE FREAKING DAY we usually get to sleep in. BLARGH.

And holy hell, is this not just THE most boring post EVER? I’m boring myself, I think, which means it must be time to just shut the heck up already.

Oh! P.S. Thank you all for your kind and supportive comments on the last post. I went ahead and put the PayPal button up this morning (left sidebar, under the calendar), being careful to copy and paste the Hateful, Terrible, Machine Language exactly as it appeared on the Paypal site (except for the slight modification to include the Bartles and Jaymes reference when you mouse over it), but I must’ve done something wrong, because RazDreams can’t see it…? I see it on my screen, though. What’s the deal? Can you see it? Is it just a figment of my imagination? Is Tripod playing a trick on me? Anyone?….Anyone?….

Momentarily out of action/Temporarily out of gas

When thoughts will not flow coherently into one another, it’s time for a list:

1. Last Wednesday I went ahead and called the doc (who is not actually a doctor, but a nurse practitioner) (and who has the bedside manner of a wet mop) to let her know that I felt like the meds weren’t working. She was out (well, of course she was¹) until noon Thursday, so I left a message and was told I’d hear from her Thursday afternoon. I didn’t. (of course I didn’t¹) I called back Friday afternoon (thinking I might hear from her Friday morning, but of course I did not), and was told, oh hey, everyone’s in a meeting, and oh, gee, we just don’t know when they’ll be out, but maybe someone can get back to you on Monday. I said, “Forget it, Fuckers. No, that’s okay. I’ll just wait ’til my appointment next Wednesday.”

2. So I went for my regularly-scheduled meds check yesterday and saw the doctor (who is not actually a doctor, but a nurse practitioner) (and who has the bedside manner of a wet mop). Knowing that I had called and said I was feeling worse instead of better last week, she had already decided what she wanted to do (increase my meds) before I even started talking. I watched her write it down before I had five words out of my mouth. She didn’t really listen to me, since she’d already made up her mind what the next step was. She was patronizing and condescending, and I was getting angrier and bitchier by the moment. She said she felt like my body had grown accustomed to the meds, so we should try increasing the dosage.

Me: Okay, so…I’ve been on this for about 8 weeks. You guys TOLD me it would take 4-5 weeks to completely kick in, right?

Doc (who is not actually a doctor, but a nurse practitioner) (and who has the bedside manner of a wet mop): Yes, that’s right.

Me: Okay, so it took 4-5 weeks to kick in completely, and then a couple weeks later, my body’s already accustomed to it, and it’s ineffective? And now, you want to increase the dosage…does that mean, in another 3 or 4 weeks, I’ll be accustomed to it again, and it’ll stop working again?

Doc (who is not actually a doctor, but a nurse practitioner) (and who has the bedside manner of a wet mop): Well, hopefully, that won’t be the case. Hopefully, the higher dosage will work. But it’s easier² to just increase this one, than to start over with a different antidepressant. And if you feel like it’s not working, you can always call.

Me: Well, I TRIED that. I called LAST WEEK, and you never called me back.

Doc (who is not actually a doctor, but a nurse practitioner) (and who has the bedside manner of a wet mop): Well, when I got your message Friday, I just figured we’d go ahead and just keep your appointment for today.

Me: I called LAST WEDNESDAY.

Doc (who is not actually a doctor, but a nurse practitioner) (and who has the bedside manner of a wet mop): Well, I just got the message Friday.

Me: Yeah, RIGHT, bitch. Plus, you’re leaving³, and I really don’t want to get lost in the shuffle.

The rational side of me knows that it probably does make more sense to try the increased dosage before making a change to a different antidepressant (and a chat with kalki last night reinforced that theory). I think I had just prematurely resigned myself to having to switch my meds, and was surprised when the doc (who is not actually a doctor, but a nurse practitioner) (and who has the bedside manner of a wet mop) didn’t go with the course of action my online friends and I had decided upon. (I mean, really, aren’t we all far more qualified to diagnose and treat me? Yes, I thought so, too.)

3. (Geez, am I really only on number three? This is already too long, I think.) Deputy Dad’s schedule changed this week, which means he’s back on night shift for the next twelve weeks, which means it’s just the kids and me five evenings a week, with homework, supper, baths and bedtime staring us down each night. Pray for us…PRAY FOR THE CHILDREN, YA’LL.

4. I’m thinking about slapping a Paypal button on my blog. Mainly because, hey, whaddya know, we’re FLAT BROKE. But then, there’s the whole issue of how I just never will ask for help, and how I never will accept help when it’s offered. But of course there’s that whole FLAT BROKE issue. I don’t know why I feel so weird about the Paypal button. I read several bloggers who have them on their sites, and it doesn’t make me think any less of them. What say you, Internet? (Now, be honest, here. Don’t patronize me, mmkay? I want raw, brutal, honesty. Okay, maybe not so much brutal, because well, hello? Bitchy.¹)
UPDATE 10/14/05: The deed is done. Thank you, everyone, for all your supportive comments.

5. Okay, I can’t remember number five. But it was important!, I’m sure. Also, extremely clever! and witty! So, just think of the most important, clever, and witty thing you can come up with, and insert it here. Or hey!, leave it in the comments, even. Maybe your number five will help me remember my number five, and I’ll come back with an update! (Hey, it could happen. Or, you know, NOT.)

UPDATE, just moments after posting: Yes, because this is how my mind works (or doesn’t work) these days, I remembered number five within about 30 seconds of clicking “Post.” Sigh. So, an updated number five:

5. The winner of the unofficial “name that disease” contest in the last post is Closet Metro, whose unofficial entry - “My brain has messed itself” - almost made me, um, mess myself. Hee. Thanks for the giggle, Metro.

¹I might possibly still be ready to kill just about anyone who dares cross my path a wee bit bitchy these days. Maybe.

²I think she was trying to tell me it would be easier on me, as in, easier on my mind and body; but I couldn’t help thinking it was probably easier on HER, too, since it was probably less paperwork, and since she’d already made her mind up that that’s what she wanted to do.¹

³Yeah, that’s the one piece of GOOD news. Apparently, the fact that she didn’t call me back LAST THURSDAY is somehow related to the fact that she’s turned in her resignation (she’s moving), and will be leaving AT THE END OF THE MONTH. So, for those of you keeping track:
Leaving in 3 1/2 weeks = No time to return calls from stressed-out, depressed, mentally-drained clients.